Self Harm...

Touchy topic I know... Don't even need to say anything. It's something I've had issues with. I can't say they've caused problems, well, at least not to a huge extent, because they really haven't, and I know that there are plenty of people who struggle with this more than I do. But, I can't say it's never happened to me before.

So, what's my solution? Look at the picture above. Instead of cutting into my skin and drawing blood, pain and hurt, I draw out love, forgiveness and salvation. Through God. Because God pulls me through as wlways. And that's what I encourage anyone reading this post to do.

If you have issues with self harm or anything self destructive to relieve the pain, then try this. Where/Whenever you feel it's necessary, remind yourself that God is there and God cares for you and you will remember that you are loved so greatly and so immensely that no mortal on Earth could love you so much, and you will remember that self destriction is not what helps, but faith and love.

Struggle Against Loneliness

Recently, I've been having problems with loneliness. I've felt like there was no one close enough that I could talk to and that no one really cared enough about me or understood me. And this week, I tried to end that through God. Through praying every night, and knowing that whenever I felt lonely, there was a God for me, and he loves and cares for me and understands me better than any mortal being.

And he taught me a valuable lesson this week that helped me and will help me to face loneliness for the rest of my life. He taught me valuable lessons about what it means to be lonely and how I can change that feeling.

God taught me that the best way to feel like someone is there for you is to be there for someone else.

So, there's the lesson. If there's something in your life that you really feel you can not take and that is hurting you more than you can say, the best thing to do is to go to God because he will help you and he will give you need.

Before God

This weekend, I thought about something. What is affectng my relationship with God for the worse? There are definitely things that I can think of that are. Anger, lies. Those are some. But, what can I do about them? It's not like I conciously sit down and think about those little white lies I tell. Sometimes, I do it because it seems...easier.

But it's not easier in my relationship with God. My relationship with God has been somewhat thrown off the wagon at certain times. I mean, there have been times that I just can't understand what I'm supposed to do next. Which is why now that my relationship is strengthened, I would do aoything to maintain it.

Which is why I left things down before the Lord. Things like lying, getting angry, envy. How did I do this? Well, I first wrote them down and left them where they belong God and not me. This is where we then use another peice of paper to write them down and keep them to remind ourselves of what we have left before God.

I encourage everyone to do this as it is one way for God to pull us through thinking about Him when making everyday decisions.

Special Prayer Request

Stop Joseph Kony. That's a common phrase nowadays.

After watching that video, what do you think? About all the injustices those poor children are facing right now? What can we do about it though?

What do you do to glorify God? Sing, dance, create beautiful artwork that the world loves to see? Use your talents to spread the word about this mission aimed at helping innocents who did nothing to deserve this fate.

And pray. We not only need to spread the word about this situation to people in the world. But we need to show God how much we care. We need to pray for them because they are God's creations as well. They are God's children. And they are going through something that no one can even begin to comprehend. I encourage you. Send this video, spread the word, tell your friends, tell God. For there can never be enough people to know about the injustices occuring in the world.

Pulled Through Moments

I just had another one of those moments. When I text my friend and he's too busy to respond and I try to find a chat site to relieve the of feeling...alone, rejected... Must I go on? No. You understand my point. There are times when I can't even sit up, or think straight because I feel like I'm not good enough to. Like no one will ever care about me beyond what they need for me.

This evening was another one of those nights. After getting yelled at my parents, I grabbed my phone anxiously, texting the one person I thought would care. And don't get me wrong, he's still a good friend. But it's just hard to get a reply back saying... "sorry, busy" when you finally feel like you are able to talk about your problems with someone who may actually help you. So, what did I do? Grabbed my computer and typed in the rusty URL of the chat site I go to a lot. And what happens? I get paired with someone who decides to quote a song and then disapparate.

Then I look up. What's sitting on the coffee table right in front of me? My Bible. What's undernearth the Bible? My binder, containing old church programs with all of the lessons in them. What more did I need, I thought? I took out the program and it was about honestly praying to God about feelings that we have. Though they may be sinful, pray to God about them.

So I did. And suddenly I didn't feel so alone anymore. God did something for me that helped me through this darkness. And I can't even explain what it is. Because I don't know for sure. It's almost as if He pit a heart back into my heart. Like He put warmth in it, where I felt like it was a big frozen hole in the middle of me. I felt terrible. I realized just how much God does for me. And what do I do in return? I sin. Nevermind that, I don't even thank Him. At least not as much as I should.

So, there's my recent "pulled through" moment. Feel free to share yours and spread the word about just how amazing and loving God is.

Why do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

The million dollar question.

Of all the pain and suffering I've seen in this world, most of it has had to do with good poeple. Smart people, people who know God, those who do good for the world. Why is it always that these people are the ones who have problems with the world. Not those who bring evil, misfortune, and do the work of the devil. Usually, those people are fine.

Disease, suffering. All the work of the devil. The devil who wants evil in this world. The devil that will do work to keep those who do evil okay. Yet he works to destroy those that bring good into the world. It makes no sense. God tells us that this suffering will come. But, it still hurts.

Those of us who have doubts and question God. That's who the devil finds vulnerable. He preys on those that have such confusion in their mind about what to do. Currupts them. Defiles them. Until they are his. It is our duty to make sure that the devil can not get to us though. Though we can't just force someone to know God, try and lead them towards getting to know God. Make them see all that he has done for them. All that he can do. The world is an evil place, thanks to the devil. But us followers, us believers, those of us wo have been saved. It is up to us to stop this.

We must stand strong in our faith, and show that we will not back down. No matter what.

All God's Creatures

The first time I learned this lesson, I was in a homeless shelter in uptown Chicago, lsitening to the story of one man. His story made me think about many things in my own life and really opened up my perspective on life. But, he taught me one thing that still sticks with me.

Love all of God's creatures. We have no right to decide which one's should live and which ones should not. What does this mean? I know plenty of people who kill bugs and spiders that come near them, because they are a "nuisance" or set up mouse traps. And, rat poison? Before making a decision like that, think about this...

God created that creature for a reason. If didn't want it to live, it wouldn't be there. Therefore, what tight do us humans have to decide whether another human or animal should live? We don't. We aren't God. And we never will be either. Therefore, we don't get to make decisions for God.

The second time I learned this lesson was in English class, reading The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, a novel by Samuel T. Coleridge. This novel has a very important message ,that we should all love Go'd creatures, and we should not unfairly end any of their lives, or hurt them in any way, or it will come back to haunt us. Why? Because we have no right to judge which one of God's creatures should live and which should not.

God, Help Me!

God
Help me
In my hour of need
I don't have much time
My head aches
Tears fall from my eyes
Please help me God
Help me come through
Pull through
I need you
In this time of darkness
Of need
Please

The Gifts God Gives

I feel...horrible. I'm probably disappointing everyone that has ever loved me. I feel like I've turned into a horrible person out of all of the hurt that I've experienced recently. However, there's one thing that I still have. One thing that I can change my life with. My faith.

That's right. I will use my talent to talk about my experiences with life and faith, and how my faith helped me through my life in ways unimaginable. God gave me the gift of my ability to write and sing. And when I combined them together, he gave me the ability to write music. But, I have no used my gifts to glorify him recently, which is osmething I need to do. That's why I'm starting this blog. To show the world what God has given me and how God has impacted my life.

Through all the bad things that have happened in my life, God has pulled me through. And, I know that I can never thank him as much as I need to, but that doesn't mean I can't try. So, this blog is to say "thanks" for everything God has done for me. That's how I'm using the gifts God has given me. What about you?